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Nov. 15th, 2007 | 12:52 am
mood: hopefulhopeful

Well, the deadline passed and I survived, faculties mostly intact, to snark another day.
No great remembrances, but a hell of a lot of insights.
I feel like my life has finally started; this subtle, monstrous weight gone from my mind. Oh, I'm still depressed and have lupus, but now it's on my terms, if that makes sense.
I had a long talk with a wonderful friend which helped, my daughter and Perry were so cool and supportive, as were the special folk who supported me here.
I'm still thinking through so much, but I feel better, more inside my own skin, less scattered. It feels good.

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Nov. 11th, 2007 | 06:14 am
mood: contemplativecontemplative

I'm in a really odd head-space at the moment. Tomorrow is a day I've anticipated, dreaded, feared and wondered about for almost my whole life.
Tomorrow, the 12th, is the 40th anniversary of my mother's death. It was in 1967, and I was 7 years old. My Mum was 47, which i am now.
Tomorrow I'm the age my mother was when she died.
I had left for school on the morning of the 9th, saying goodbye to her in the kitchen. When I came home in the afternoon, she was gone and I never saw her again. Dad told me she died on the 12th.
Mum had high blood pressure and kidney failure, then she had a stroke. Many years later, Dad told me he had to sign papers to have her ventilator turned off. He never got over her death.
As I, and my daughter, have lupus, I have to wonder, given her health issues, if Mum had it too, undiagnosed at a time when little was known about it.
To say her death was an atomic explosion in my life is an understatement. Dad went off the rails and couldn't cope with me, so my Nanny was dismissed and I was sent to live with cousins I barely knew, who made it clear I was there only because Dad could pay them.
Dad sold the house, my only remembered home, and all Mum's things. He and his sister took me with them as they packed up Mum's gift shop, leaving me with my uncle, who took me to the park, where he sexually abused me. All of this was in the week after Mum died. Then Dad went to Hong Kong for a month, and when he returned, it was weeks before I saw him again.
I never told anyone what Charles did, and instead suppressed the majority of the next 40 years, leaving me with few, if any, actual memories of my past.
What will happen tomorrow? Will it be just another day? Will I drop dead? Will I have some sort of cathartic breakdown? Will I remember my Mum?
I guess I'll know in about 24 hours.....

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Sep. 2nd, 2007 | 07:45 pm
mood: pleasedpleased

Yep, I'm re-posting my sporking of one of Meyshi's masterworks - and here it is!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything in this story, nor any parts of the Harry Potter franchise, property of, and copywritten by, J.K.Rowling and others.
I am not critiquing this story by Meyshi for profit or gain, nor am I reproducing it in its entirety.
This review is for the purposes of satire and parody, as well as my personal entertainment.

STORY/SERIES TITLE: Kick, Ball, Chain. Yup, you're right. What does that have to do with Harry Potter, as created by J.K.Rowling? Simple answer - NOTHING!
CULPRIT AUTHOR: Meyshi - a repeat offender and all-around Drama Queen.
READ IT AND CHOKE ON YOUR OWN VOMIT SPIT: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3685182/1/
FULL NAME: Harry "Dancing Queen" Potter.
HAIR COLOR: "his dark curls".
EYE COLOR: "his emerald eyes shining".
UNUSUAL MARKINGS/COLORATIONS: Has "strong, tan thighs", "well-shaped arms", "his toned, and thin dancer’s body", "his body was the epitome the perfection".
SPECIAL POSSESSIONS, IF ANY: White sheets, a towel, his beloved Aunt Tuney, a BFF!!11one! 11!!! Teegan Gylden, who appears in every freakin' story this nodcock writes, because, unlike us, she's obsessed with the creep.
ANNOYING ORIGIN: The bizarre, hypocritical depths of Meyshi's brain.
ANNOYING CONNECTION TO CANON CHARACTERS: Is impersonating one, gets another's balls.
ANNOYING SPECIAL ABILITIES: Can dance like an unholy cross between Baryshnikov and Britney Spears.
OTHER ANNOYING TRAITS: No magic, for all the kid is named Harry Potter. The inclusion of the OC from Hell, Teegan What's'isname. Hogwarts is a dance academy. In every respect but the names, this is original fiction - poorly written, derivative, banal original fiction.

Read more...Collapse )

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(no subject)

Aug. 16th, 2007 | 08:16 pm
mood: cynicalcynical

As there is STILL a DCMA filing hanging over my head, I have complied with the LJ requirements and deleted the entry containing the sporking of Meyshi's "Kick,Ball, Chain."
Hopefully, this will be temporary.
I'll be back.

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Jul. 8th, 2007 | 11:06 pm
location: Teh Study.
mood: blahblah
music: Scissor Sisters - Filthy Gorgeous

Wow! It's been almost a year since I last dropped in to say "G'day!" and post an update on my incredibly exciting life!
In that time I've been okay, until the last six months, when my lupus has been a total bitch. I'm trying new anti-inflammatories, but with little effect so far. My doctor wants me to go back to a rheumatology specialist, but I'm reluctant.
My experience has been they take one look at me and blame all my pain, exhaustion, hair loss, depression, sleeplessness and anxiety on my weight and/or my diabetes - which, by the way, is under good control, according to my three monthly blood test.
Otherwise - my daughter is going through some very difficult stuff mentally and emotionally, and I'm at my wit's end how to help her. I have no way to really share the experiences she's having, and I can only listen and offer my love and support.
So much of what she's telling me has turned my view of her, our relationship, her childhood, her perception of me, what I thought I knew about her, us, the past, totally out the window. I feel so lost and adrift, like I don't even know her any more, or who I am to her, or anything.
I feel like my heart is breaking, I am trying so bloody hard not to cry or show her how frightened I am that the baby/child/young woman I thought I knew and loved so damn much may never have existed at all, except in my mind. I don't know how much longer I can keep my front up, before I lose it and just start screaming, and never stop.
I feel like I'm losing my baby, like I never had her at all and its tearing me apart.
I just had a howl and scared the crap out of Perry, my semi-foster son, so I think I'll move on.
She's moved, and that seems to be working out. I'm now minding her cat, a three legged drama queen named Arumiel. This makes me a five-cat household. Fortunately, the in-fighting, and subsequent blood loss, has been minor.
Perry, who loves karaoke, was bashed on the way home a few months ago, and the two shits didn't even want anything, or steal anything. He was badly bruised, his nose and mastoid were broken, but not badly, and he was extremely upset.
However, refusing to be made afraid, he was back singing just over a week later, his friends rallying around to drive him to and fro, in exchange for my home baking and a bit of petrol money.
Now, he's fine, and in the final of a comp, with $500 up for grabs. He's singing "Filthy Gorgeous" by Scissor Sisters, which is a sight to behold.
I'm doing a lot more home Tarot readings, and many of my clients are, oddly enough, South or Central American. They've been going really well, and I'm getting lots of referrals.
I'm off to see "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" in three days. I expect it to be rather canon-less, but entertaining. Voldy in a sharp suit is mind-boggling!
I saw, and adored, "300"! Gorgeous, buffed men in little leather man-panties...what more could I want? As soon as it's out on DVD, I'm buying a copy, so I can drool etc. in private.
Just before I close, I have a brilliant recipe for the best cheesecake brownies ever. Do try them, they're almost as seductive and sensuous as the blokes in "300"!


125gm butter, chopped.
125gm quality dark chocolate, 70% cocoa, broken into pieces.
I cup brown sugar.
3 large eggs.
1/3 cup plain flour.
1/3 cup cocoa powder.
1 tblspn vanilla EXTRACT or PASTE.
1/4 tspn baking powder.
250gm pkt cream cheese.
1/4 cup caster sugar.
1/4 cup extra thick cream.

Preheat oven to 180deg C, or 160deg C fan forced. Line a 18x28 cm slice pan with baking paper.
Put butter, chocolate and brown sugar in a small bowl, and microwave in 30sec bursts, stirring in between until the chocolate is completely melted.
Put eggs, flour, baking powder, vanilla and cocoa in large bowl, mix lightly. Add the chocolate mix and stir gently to combine.
Pour into prepared tin.
In clean bowl, using an electric mixer, combine cheese, sugar and cream until smooth. Drop spoonfuls of the cheese mixture into the chocolate batter, then use a knife or skewer to lightly swirl them through the mix.
Cook 35-40 mins, until cooked when tested with a skewer.
Cool in pan, cut into squares, serve with whipped cream and dusted with cocoa.

That's it for me tonight. TTFN!

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(no subject)

Aug. 23rd, 2006 | 01:50 am
mood: bouncybouncy


spork_sans_lube where ebol, dorky, badly written prOn goes to die. Come along and join. Over 18 year olds only though, but then you can submit sporkings, like at deleterius etc.

Well, I've been naughty! I haven't updated here for ages! Bad morriganscrow!
Life in Oz is quiet, although I did my first face to face reading for a client in three years the other day, and it went really well.
My daughter, Gwen, is now engaged to the lovely Michael, and they celebrate three years together in the next week. I gave her my Dad's gold signet ring to propose with, the ring my Mum designed for him as a wedding band. I've had it since Dad died 17 1/2 years ago, with Mum having been gone 39 years now. It was a terrible wrench, but the right thing to do. Michael understands the significance, and that's a balm to my heart.
Gwen has also been offered honors at Uni next year, then on to her PH.D in Literature. I'm busting with pride in my girl. I think she's wonderful, funny, smart, lovely and everything a mother could wish for. I love her to bits.
Perry is doing fine, looking for work, albeit with limited success so far. However, we remain hopeful.
Sara, my carer, is fine. Her older sister is about to have her first baby, so Sara's in "Auntie" mode.
My tooth abcess continues to rumble. The dental surgeon refused to remove it, due to my other health issues, so I'm waiting to be refered to a facio-maxillary surgeon, and then a trip into hospital. Joy!
All the cats are well, as are the rats and possums in the house roof and walls, bunking down for the winter.
Well, that's all I'm typing now, except DON'T FORGET spork_sans_lube JOIN NOW!

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May. 10th, 2006 | 08:55 pm
mood: cheerfulcheerful

Greetings! Life is quiet here in Oz, my family are all well and my health is stable.
I have been doing a number of sporks lately, and have enjoyed them immensly. Perry is downloading and editing them all, then I'll post them here in Memories.
I have become a Deviant! Gwen has her art there as Crystal Seraph, now I'm there too as morriganscrow. I've posted my Sirius and Remus poems, and am preparing several others for posting at the moment. This is the most public I've ever been with my work, and I must admit I'm nervous as hell abou it. What will people say? Will anyone read it at all? Wiil I get decent feedback?
I've also friended a lass, Frankenspam, and she me. She has schitzophrenia and a fab attitude. She also has a mad sense of humour. I'm chuffed as she's the first non-family Net friend on my list. Woohoo for me, meeting new and interesting folk.
Well, gotta go. Piles of poetry to type. TTFN

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May. 1st, 2006 | 07:40 pm
mood: cheerfulcheerful

The end of the pagan year is upon us and Samhain is here. A time for reflection on the previous twelve months, a time to give thanks and a time to remember our beloved dead. Mum and Dad, Annie, Ian, Reggie and Molly, Ian H. and my little bub I miscarried. Ilove you all, I miss you all. May your journeys onward thrive. Goddess and God watch over and uplift you all, Blessed Be!
I have much to be thankful for. Gwen is doing brilliantly, she and Michael are cool, I couldn't be happier, he's a lovely boy, and they're perfect together.
My health remains stable, and I've kept twenty kilos off for a year, Gwen's depression is now under control, Perry had good news as his tumour is a little larger, but not endangering anything and the specialist doesn't want to see him again for a year!!
I received a houseful of decent second-hand furniture including the new queen size bed and mattress I really needed for $100!
Work is back on track, with my earnings back into the $500-600/month range that suppilments my pension perfectly.
All in all, this year hasn't been too bad. Shane has been a pest again, but Gwen and I are coping. Stefan is back in our area, but has made no move to contact us, so that's fine.
My depression remains a pain, but I have started writing again, so that's cool.
All in all life is okay, and I'm as happy as I've been in many years. This is a good thing. On that note - TTFN.

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Apr. 16th, 2006 | 02:22 am
mood: relievedrelieved

Perry went to the specialist, and he needs a new MRI done, and some other tests, but at this stage he's stable - which is great news. The Doc. said the tumour was a bit bigger, but not too severely so, and he will wait for the test results. Needless to say, things are a little more relaxed than they were.
Will type more later. TTFN

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(no subject)

Apr. 3rd, 2006 | 08:16 am
mood: hungryhungry

It's four days and counting until Perry has his specialist's appointment, and we're getting a trifle stressed. However we've started co-sporking on Deletrius and that does take his mind off things.
My darling daughter Gwen, her partner Michael and two friends went to see 'V For Vendetta' the other night, and on their way home were involved in a bingle. Nothing serious, thank the Goddess and God, but enough to ruffle this mother's feathers a trifle. I know she's 20 but it doesn't change how protective I feel towards her. I've got plans up and running for her 21st, on July 3rd and 4th - a party for her and friends on the 3rd, and a 24hr D'n'D marathon on the 4th. I've pretty much got the campaign written, and this time we'll have about 12 players, so it should be a hoot.
Gwen's running two groups herself - one at Anime Club, the other with Uni friends at home. Her meds for depression have worked well, and she is feeling so very much better, which is a weight off my mind. Her Uni work continues to go well, and she is still doing well above average. I'm SO very proud of her!!
I've become nocturnal again. I think it's partly because I'm up on the Net 'till all hours, but also I never really got night duty out of my system. After all, I did it for 9 years! Still, it gives me time to myself, and I've started writing again, after the longest time. I have a second poem to type in, I've been procrastinating, but I'll try to do it tonight.
Well, must go. I need to eat before bed so the Diabetic Demons don't get me, and I need some pain tablets ASAP. TTFN.

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